Yarr! Gamey censorship news for ye mateys!
Gday me heartys! So it be that on Talk Like A Pirate Day a story swings upon me decks. Though ‘t be a sore burden t’speak o’ video game laws in this gamesome tone, the laws o’ the sea be the laws o’ the sea, and speak like a landlubber may I not.
Grab yer tankard and roll a barrel to the foredeck as I give ye the news from Oklahoma, far over the rollin’ waves in the New World. It just so happens that a right wise wig-wearin’ man o’ the law there, deemed he a stop t’a law forbiddin’ young scalawags from buyin’ certain video games.
Y’see, back in th’summer last trip ’round, a few right varmints tries t’make violent videy-o games forbid t’sell t’the younguns, the same way that youngun be forbayde t’buy wicked Spanish engrayvins of wenches wearin’ no clothes. A scoundrelly thing as I tell it, for wenches wi’ no clothes be a lovely sight, an’ blow me down if it were proved it does harm to a randy young lad. Be that as ‘t may, this law were like using a mainmast as a marlinspike… t’were not fitting, and if th’ bloody Amerrycans hold one idea higher than t’others, it’s about freedom o’ speech, of a kind that we scabby swabs belowdecks never have when speakin’ t’ th’ cap’n! Why, ye Okies, would ye give power t’a tyrant (as all cap’ns be no matter what ye call’em, Reprysentertive or Sennyter or Guv’vator) unless y’have no choice but to bow t’ th’ tyrant or go overboard? Give ye not that leeway t’any man!
Now across th’ waves, welcome as a bottle o’rum, comes the news that the right wise judgeman in Okeela Homa has said that such a law be not on a true compass, and if ’twere a ship, it need be kept in port till ‘t be deemed seaworthy. Yarr! Blessed news for this slimy salt t’hear with me one good ear! Makes me tap me one leg with joy.
I’ll parrot back to ye what th’ wiggie said from his high n’ mighty bench… forgive th’ scalawag for not talkin’ like a pirate– he chewed his fat a few days ago, afore he knew I’d be repeatin’ it today. Here be Mr. Robin J. Cauthron… a prancin’ dandy kinda name fer a man… well blow me down, she’s a wench!! A judge wearin’ a skirt?? Amerryca truly be a new an’ strange world…. anyway, let her speak, and again, be not infuryated at her lack o’ piratey tone.
…[T]here is a complete dearth of legislative findings, scientific studies, or other rationale to support passage of the Act…the presence of increased viewer control and interactivity does not remove these games from the release of First Amendment protection.
Yarr, a right wise wench! Thank ye, Judge Robin, and may ye fly on yer red wings far over th’ stormiest seas to bring yer worms o’justice to the peeping mouths o’ free speechers everywhere.
Tags: censorship, free-speech, games-as-art, law, obscenity, pirates, Politics
